Wednesday, September 25, 2013

clumsy smurf is my cousin

Have you ever read the sidebar description of me? It says I'm clumsy.

All day I've been trying to remember to blog about something that happened to me this morning but it wasn't until I almost tripped on my own feet just now that I remembered.

Let's start at the very beginning. I've been getting up very early to run lately. I wake up at 4:51 am (that is not a typo) and meet my trusty little sidekick, Brenda, to run 3 miles, three times a week. I was really tired this morning. But let's be honest, sometimes I yawn while I run that early. And almost every day I'm exhausted, but I get up and do it anyway.

Well we were about 2.5 miles into our run, literally coming down the home stretch. Have I mentioned how DARK it is during the 5:00 hour? It's DARK. And when cars pass us, we get blinded.

We were running on a sidewalk that normally trips us up, literally. It's got parts that jut up and trip you in the light. Which is no bueno in the dark. But I was confident. We were almost home, I had a good pace, I felt great. I even thought I should pick my feet up a little so in case I hit a snare, I'd be high above and un-trippable. (Is that a word? My computer is saying no.)

I could see our turn coming up, with a big street lamp illuminating the way. Yes, we were almost done. The path was clear and life was good.

And then this flowering tree branch jumped out and smacked me in the face. I swear to you, there was not one low lying tree ahead. There was nothing in the path of my 5'10" frame. EXCEPT that SINGLE flowering branch slithering out in the dark.

How do I know it was a flowering branch? Well, when my eye hit it at full running speed while it was WIDE OPEN, I caught a little flower in my eye. YES. I DID.

I was blinded! It stung! And worse yet, I was still wearing yesterday's makeup, so the watery day-old mascara was starting to do it's own magic on my offended eye. OUCH!! OUCH!! I can't see, Brenda!!

So what do you think I did? Like a true runner, I picked back up and started running. ONE EYED. Oh yes, I did. I ran in the dark, with one eye closed, for a half mile.

I was feeling pretty confident close to her house. So confident that I turned down her street, wondering why she wasn't following. OH, that would be because I HAD NO DEPTH PERCEPTION NOW AND I WAS ONE STREET TOO SOON FROM HER HOUSE.

Oh yes. I'm an amazing one eyed runner.

THIS was my highlight run of the week, folks.

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