Her mouth speaks from that which fills her heart...

Luke 6:45

This has been a fun summer. It's been full of sleepovers, sleeping late, staying inside when it's hot, and heading to the pool to keep cool. I've gotten a great tan, slept to my heart's content, and played a lot. But there have been some important things happen this summer, too. BIG CHANGES. And if God has taught me anything in my life, it's been to never say never.

Drumroll, please? This mama is going back to work. Part time! But working. I'm excited, hopeful, and at this point I don't even know what I don't know. But let me tell you, I've got the perfect job. PERFECT! It's two days a week, doing what I love. TEACHING! No tests to prepare for, no paperwork to bog me down, no meetings to talk about more paperwork. Just teaching.

And the best part is: I can talk about Jesus! In fact, I MUST talk about Jesus! You have no idea how exciting this is for me. Impressing the little brains of second graders and sharing my faith with them every Tuesday and Thursday. I'm blessed.

But let's move on to Change #2. Once upon a time The Man had a partner in his commercial cleaning business. This partner was awesome. This partner was a Christian. He worked hard. He was easy to get along with. He was a like-minded thinker for The Man. He was the perfect partner. And then life happened.

This amazing business partner had an opportunity to pursue his lifelong dream to be a football coach. And who can stand in the way of a man and his dream? Not us. So for now, we're relying on God to provide the perfect new manager for HIS Janitorial. I have no doubt we will find one.

And as for Change #3, that would be my daughter's scoliosis. It has gotten worse. It hurts her day and night now. And I'm more concerned than ever. But I'm confident that God has gone before my daughter and knows the plans He has for her. So I will not fear.

Okla-home

I'm baaaaack! Have you missed me? I've been here. Just too busy to post.

Let's see, let me recap May 2013. I turned 40, witnessed tornadoes forming in the sky, got my kids finished up in their respective school years, celebrated Mother's Day, and my mom's 70th birthday. But not in that order.

June has been full as well: more tornado cleanup, my children going to theatre camp, football camp, and me wishing I had a "camp" to attend. We've done VBX at church, I've been running and reading and racing. I've been facebooking and thinking about more new Sassy Sawdust projects. I've been collecting 4-5 eggs a day from the coop here at the farm and I've pull a ton of weeds from my backyard and yet only covered about 1/4 of the space.

I've been living. And being thankful for my life and my house and my family. Thankful that the roof over my head is intact. Thankful that I have 4 walls and air conditioning. Thankful that my third grader is alive today.

I've spent a lot of time in prayer over the last few weeks because people I know have no homes now. They've lost pets. They are living in hotels. And here I sit, with survivor's guilt, wishing I could do more than buy a t-shirt or a necklace to raise money for tornado victims. Wishing that there were a magic wand that could sweep through Moore, Oklahoma and clean it all up at once.

But I've also been blessed. With the gift of time to volunteer. With the ability to give abundantly. And with special moments along the way. Like the surreal moment I reached into the rubble I was shoving along with a shovel. I saw something shiny and when I picked it up, it was a heart shaped silver charm. Engraved on the front was this: TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

I felt like the world around me paused. The wind stopped blowing and all I could do was stare. Amen!, I thought. Yes! Together, this team from my church is here to make a difference... one homeowner at a time.

Yes. BLESSED. That I could contribute a small part to a big job. And make a difference, no matter how small and inconsequential it seemed.


p.s. I wanted so badly to take a picture of this charm in my work glove. It seemed such a poignant photo to take. But in the midst of someone else's tragedy, it felt unholy to photograph something that wasn't mine to share. So, instead, I keep that picture here in my heart. I hope you can see it, too.

coming soon!

I made this cupcake on the spur of the moment before my big birthday party last weekend. But guess what?! It can be yours too very soon!!

I will be making this for classes here at my house, or as a private class if you want to host! :)

This is a sign on a stake (for the ground or flower pots), but it can also be a door hanger. It has a chalkboard circle so you can change the birthday number for any member of your family! So keep your eyes open for a signup genius listing coming soon with Sassy Sawdust!

This is 40.

It's no secret I'd been dreading the big 4-0 for weeks. I spent a lot of time wondering about it, too. Why do I care? Why is this worse than 30? Am I really upset or am I creating a bad attitude?

The answers came slowly. And they were a combination of many factors.

1. When I envisioned my life as a teenager, I always looked forward to skipping ahead to my 30's. Being married, having kids, living the dream. NEVER ONCE did I imagine myself in my 40's. Never once. So here I was, passing on the decade that spoke to my childhood dreams. So then what? What's to come of my life in my 40's? Hopefully the best yet.

2. It dawned on me a few weeks ago that it has been a decade since I bore a child from my womb. If that doesn't make you feel old, I don't know what could.

3. And this should probably have been #1: My sister, who I had famously surprised in the middle of the night on her 40th birthday, half a country away in California, was not coming. My bigger, older, wiser sister, who is my biffle, had her husband's 50th birthday this year, along with her first born graduating, and then a 20th anniversary with previously mentioned 50 year old hubby. There was no way she could come. It just wasn't possible with all they had going on. Sniff sniff.

And then the most amazing thing happened...



There she was! In my house! On my couch! And I did the ugly cry. The kind you don't want on film, but they took it anyway. And suddenly 40 didn't seem so bad. In fact, 40 seemed pretty amazing.

So here I am. 40 years and 1 day. Livin' the dream.

I'll show you the party soon. It was awesome.

Flo's gone broody

This girl got a haircut. You can't tell? Hmmm, well look closely and you'll see her feathers on the sides are a little shorter now.

KIM, why on earth would you give a chicken a haircut? And why are we calling it a haircut anyway? How about a feather trim?

Well, call it what you want, this silly bird had it comin'. BECAUSE FLO HAS GONE BROODY!

It seems that Flo left the yard unattended two days ago. She FLEW over our fence and began laying her eggs in a pile of leaves under our kitchen window. IN OUR FRONT YARD!

Yesterday The Man and G were out on the driveway playing basketball. Suddenly The Man comes running inside. KIM! KIM! There's a chicken in the front yard!!

We wrestle her out from behind the bushes and plop her back in the backyard. Meanwhile, I've looked down and seen a green egg nestled in the leaves. And it's cold! Uh-oh. This one has been here for a day! How did she get out here long enough to lay an egg yesterday and return undetected??

I headed back inside the house. And it only took a few minutes for her to escape... again! Wrestle the chicken, place her in the yard. Different verse, same as the first.

The boys finished up playing and headed inside. And I went back out one more time to ensure that she's NOT in the front yard. But lo and behold, she was square in place on top of the perceived day old egg and getting ready to lay a new one. Sisters. However, this mama has other ideas, like the fact that THERE IS NO ROOSTER TO MAKE THOSE EGGS INTO CHICKIES, YOU DUMB BIRD!

So I let her do her business and placed her back in the backyard.

This morning I got up and read my favorite Go-To book: A Chicken in Every Yard. And I found out that if I want to stop the yard hopping, I must clip her wings. So clip, I did. It's just like a haircut, so don't worry: there were no animals injured in the writing of this blog. And now she can't get run over crossing the road, either, since she'll be laying her eggs where they belong now. I just hope she didn't give the other girls any great ideas with her escapade.

becoming productive

Well, I think I'm done for now. I still don't understand things like why I can't see the same look for my blog on my phone or ipad that I see on the computer. So I guess if you want to know what this blog really looks like, you should read me online. :))

Anywho! Back to BREAKING NEWS at the Frakes Family Farm! Today I went out to the coop to collect Dot's egg and found THREE EGGS!! Two large, and her one (still small) egg. This farm is on it's way to productivity! Yippee!



In addition, I've been adding some pretties to the coop. Like a sign I found at TARGET no less! And a chandelier. Oh yahhhh.



I thought I'd share some pics of the girls from last week. I know you'll wonder how I can tell them apart, but just like a mama of twins, I've got each one of them pegged. They are my babies, you know.


Beaker


Eva


Flo


Pearl

And now for a little giggle through video, if you haven't seen this on my facebook page. Farmer G takes the girls out for some exercise.

changes abound

Well, as you can see, there's a new look here at Sassy Sawdust. I bore eaily. Can you tell? Sorry, once I started messing with it, the whole design went to the crapper. I'm not REAL happy with how it looks right now, but kind of like my chicken coop, it's functioning and ugly. And soon, very soon, I'll get back to making it pretty.

Speaking of that coop... I got on pinterest the other night. And I got SO inspired to sass up my coop! Shabby paint and chandeliers, and decor... oh my! If you follow me on pinterest, check out my "bawk bawk chicken" board. You'll see where I'm coming from and straight where I'm headed. As soon as all the other crap in my life slows down. Think chippy white paint, chandelier (oh yes, I AM), and cuteness abounding. Yep, that's the plan.

But first, I have to finish my daughter's room. I stripped her walls bare almost 2 months ago, in preparation for a big room redo. I filled all the holes, and prepped the room. And then life happened. One night I got the wild hair to paint one of those walls black chalkboard. It's awesome. Or it will be... once I finish painting the ceiling, cutting in the edges, and painting the baseboards. All before I tear out her nasty carpet and put in some hardwoods, prooooobably by myself. And that should be fun. GREAT. FUN.

So, I'd like it if you could cut me some slack. I'm doing well to keep everyone around here alive, including the dog and 5 chickens. :)

chicken talk

Oh, you know... just trying to lay an egg here if you would give me some privacy.


It's cool, Dot! We're just wondering when you're gonna be done so we can play again!


ahhhhhh.... much better.

happy birthday sweet abby (a shameless plug for my favorite daughter)

April 11, 2013

Dear Abby,

Do you know the first thing I thought when I laid eyes on you? Among many including:
*She's tiny!
*THAT just came out of ME?!
*What's wrong with her head?
*Is this what love at first sight is all about??

One stuck out above the rest: She's perfect!

Yes, I saw a precious baby with all her appendages, with tiny fingers and toes, and the most adorable nose. What I didn't see was a failing pyloris in your abdomen. I didn't see "failure to thrive" on a future doctor's chart. I didn't know you would need glasses for imperfect eye sight in second grade. And I NEVER saw coming a diagnosis of scoliosis in your future.

All I saw was beauty. God's abundant blessing in a 6 lb. 11 oz. package. I saw a baby girl who loved her mama. One who popped off my nursing breast at 10 months old and looked into my eyes to pronounce the sweetest word I had ever heard: "mama!" as she smiled.

It was 12 years ago in the wee hours of the morning when you woke me from sleep to send me racing to a hospital in northwest Oklahoma City in a thunderstorm. (too many prepositions in that sentence? Oh well.) I remember thinking that if we made it to the hospital without hydroplaning and being killed, the pain was surely going to crush me. I had expected labor to have some pain, just NOT the level I was experiencing. And frankly, since you were due to be induced 2 days later, I thought I would get drugs. I was dying.... surely.

I remember getting settled into the bed and being checked for dilation: 5 cm. Perfect! Bring on the epidural! But as we waited a few minutes I told the nurse I needed to poop, could I run to the bathroom?

WHAT? she said. There's no way! So she reached inside and yelled to everyone in the room: Oh my gosh! She's at a 10!! Get the doctor!! FAST!

And then after some hard pushing, realizing you were flipped upside down and twisting you over (oh yeah, that's a special kind of hell right there), out you came. It took 2 hours and 20 minutes from start to finish. You were 10 days early. And you were perfect.

What I want you to know, sweet thing, is life is NOT perfect. In fact, God warns us that life is hard. As you enter these important years of your life I offer you some advise. Some of it is cliche, but it's good advice.

1. Choose your friends wisely. Peer pressure can be positive OR negative.

2. Your family and your home are your safe place. Always.

3. Boys will come and go but your friends will always be there. Don't ignore them over a boy.

4. Stay true to your own personality. Any friend you have to change for is not really your friend.

5. There is nothing you could ever do to make me love you less.

6. Be strong. Be a leader among your peers.

7. You were made for greatness. I will always help you get there!

8. Jesus loves you, this I know. Keep your eyes on Him!

I love you sister. You're my favorite first born child and the best daughter a mama could ask for. I will always love you most.

XOXO,
Mama

getting older

I love blogging. I love writing! And I love sharing my heart with you. I was just reading back through some old posts and thinking how I've neglected my poor blog. And since there's someone out there (not sure who) that reads this, I feel like I've let you down. Namely you, Jessica Williams. But if there happens to be another reader out there, I'm thinking of you, too. :)



I'm turning 40 soon, hence the need to change my blog name a while back. And I have some thoughts on this milestone in life. So I'll share them with you here.

When I turned 30, I was 30 weeks pregnant with my son. I was happy and healthy and livin' the dream. I had a small tea party at a Tea Room for my 8 closest friends. Since I wasn't drinking, ain't nobody gonna be drinkin' for my big birthday, and it was lovely. We ate leisurely, shopped nearby, and went home for naps. It was great.

But now that I'm about to be 40, I'm getting old. No more child-bearing for me; that ended a decade ago now. A few more wrinkles and hands that look aged, now I feel like I've hit the time in my life from which there is no return. In fact, I'm pretty sure this may be the mid-point in my life. Will I live to 80? Or am I not even half way there yet? Only God knows when He'll take me home.

There are many things to be grateful for. I have an adoring husband, two great kids who are confident, funny, and love Jesus. I've been blessed with family that has loved me so much, they have literally prayed me out of the pits in life. They have stood in the gap for me and prayed for my heart when I wasn't praying myself. And for that, I'm forever grateful. My life is not perfect. In fact, I'm as imperfect as they come. I'm a hot mess. But I'm forgiven. And every day I rely on that promise.

So, if nothing else, I'm a bit meloncholy about turning 40. I'm going to do my best to embrace aging. I'm going to continue through my blessed life, raising my kids and my chickens, being thankful for my precious husband, and plug on like it's any other day. Because it is, right?