This is 40.

It's no secret I'd been dreading the big 4-0 for weeks. I spent a lot of time wondering about it, too. Why do I care? Why is this worse than 30? Am I really upset or am I creating a bad attitude?

The answers came slowly. And they were a combination of many factors.

1. When I envisioned my life as a teenager, I always looked forward to skipping ahead to my 30's. Being married, having kids, living the dream. NEVER ONCE did I imagine myself in my 40's. Never once. So here I was, passing on the decade that spoke to my childhood dreams. So then what? What's to come of my life in my 40's? Hopefully the best yet.

2. It dawned on me a few weeks ago that it has been a decade since I bore a child from my womb. If that doesn't make you feel old, I don't know what could.

3. And this should probably have been #1: My sister, who I had famously surprised in the middle of the night on her 40th birthday, half a country away in California, was not coming. My bigger, older, wiser sister, who is my biffle, had her husband's 50th birthday this year, along with her first born graduating, and then a 20th anniversary with previously mentioned 50 year old hubby. There was no way she could come. It just wasn't possible with all they had going on. Sniff sniff.

And then the most amazing thing happened...



There she was! In my house! On my couch! And I did the ugly cry. The kind you don't want on film, but they took it anyway. And suddenly 40 didn't seem so bad. In fact, 40 seemed pretty amazing.

So here I am. 40 years and 1 day. Livin' the dream.

I'll show you the party soon. It was awesome.

Flo's gone broody

This girl got a haircut. You can't tell? Hmmm, well look closely and you'll see her feathers on the sides are a little shorter now.

KIM, why on earth would you give a chicken a haircut? And why are we calling it a haircut anyway? How about a feather trim?

Well, call it what you want, this silly bird had it comin'. BECAUSE FLO HAS GONE BROODY!

It seems that Flo left the yard unattended two days ago. She FLEW over our fence and began laying her eggs in a pile of leaves under our kitchen window. IN OUR FRONT YARD!

Yesterday The Man and G were out on the driveway playing basketball. Suddenly The Man comes running inside. KIM! KIM! There's a chicken in the front yard!!

We wrestle her out from behind the bushes and plop her back in the backyard. Meanwhile, I've looked down and seen a green egg nestled in the leaves. And it's cold! Uh-oh. This one has been here for a day! How did she get out here long enough to lay an egg yesterday and return undetected??

I headed back inside the house. And it only took a few minutes for her to escape... again! Wrestle the chicken, place her in the yard. Different verse, same as the first.

The boys finished up playing and headed inside. And I went back out one more time to ensure that she's NOT in the front yard. But lo and behold, she was square in place on top of the perceived day old egg and getting ready to lay a new one. Sisters. However, this mama has other ideas, like the fact that THERE IS NO ROOSTER TO MAKE THOSE EGGS INTO CHICKIES, YOU DUMB BIRD!

So I let her do her business and placed her back in the backyard.

This morning I got up and read my favorite Go-To book: A Chicken in Every Yard. And I found out that if I want to stop the yard hopping, I must clip her wings. So clip, I did. It's just like a haircut, so don't worry: there were no animals injured in the writing of this blog. And now she can't get run over crossing the road, either, since she'll be laying her eggs where they belong now. I just hope she didn't give the other girls any great ideas with her escapade.

becoming productive

Well, I think I'm done for now. I still don't understand things like why I can't see the same look for my blog on my phone or ipad that I see on the computer. So I guess if you want to know what this blog really looks like, you should read me online. :))

Anywho! Back to BREAKING NEWS at the Frakes Family Farm! Today I went out to the coop to collect Dot's egg and found THREE EGGS!! Two large, and her one (still small) egg. This farm is on it's way to productivity! Yippee!



In addition, I've been adding some pretties to the coop. Like a sign I found at TARGET no less! And a chandelier. Oh yahhhh.



I thought I'd share some pics of the girls from last week. I know you'll wonder how I can tell them apart, but just like a mama of twins, I've got each one of them pegged. They are my babies, you know.


Beaker


Eva


Flo


Pearl

And now for a little giggle through video, if you haven't seen this on my facebook page. Farmer G takes the girls out for some exercise.

changes abound

Well, as you can see, there's a new look here at Sassy Sawdust. I bore eaily. Can you tell? Sorry, once I started messing with it, the whole design went to the crapper. I'm not REAL happy with how it looks right now, but kind of like my chicken coop, it's functioning and ugly. And soon, very soon, I'll get back to making it pretty.

Speaking of that coop... I got on pinterest the other night. And I got SO inspired to sass up my coop! Shabby paint and chandeliers, and decor... oh my! If you follow me on pinterest, check out my "bawk bawk chicken" board. You'll see where I'm coming from and straight where I'm headed. As soon as all the other crap in my life slows down. Think chippy white paint, chandelier (oh yes, I AM), and cuteness abounding. Yep, that's the plan.

But first, I have to finish my daughter's room. I stripped her walls bare almost 2 months ago, in preparation for a big room redo. I filled all the holes, and prepped the room. And then life happened. One night I got the wild hair to paint one of those walls black chalkboard. It's awesome. Or it will be... once I finish painting the ceiling, cutting in the edges, and painting the baseboards. All before I tear out her nasty carpet and put in some hardwoods, prooooobably by myself. And that should be fun. GREAT. FUN.

So, I'd like it if you could cut me some slack. I'm doing well to keep everyone around here alive, including the dog and 5 chickens. :)

chicken talk

Oh, you know... just trying to lay an egg here if you would give me some privacy.


It's cool, Dot! We're just wondering when you're gonna be done so we can play again!


ahhhhhh.... much better.

happy birthday sweet abby (a shameless plug for my favorite daughter)

April 11, 2013

Dear Abby,

Do you know the first thing I thought when I laid eyes on you? Among many including:
*She's tiny!
*THAT just came out of ME?!
*What's wrong with her head?
*Is this what love at first sight is all about??

One stuck out above the rest: She's perfect!

Yes, I saw a precious baby with all her appendages, with tiny fingers and toes, and the most adorable nose. What I didn't see was a failing pyloris in your abdomen. I didn't see "failure to thrive" on a future doctor's chart. I didn't know you would need glasses for imperfect eye sight in second grade. And I NEVER saw coming a diagnosis of scoliosis in your future.

All I saw was beauty. God's abundant blessing in a 6 lb. 11 oz. package. I saw a baby girl who loved her mama. One who popped off my nursing breast at 10 months old and looked into my eyes to pronounce the sweetest word I had ever heard: "mama!" as she smiled.

It was 12 years ago in the wee hours of the morning when you woke me from sleep to send me racing to a hospital in northwest Oklahoma City in a thunderstorm. (too many prepositions in that sentence? Oh well.) I remember thinking that if we made it to the hospital without hydroplaning and being killed, the pain was surely going to crush me. I had expected labor to have some pain, just NOT the level I was experiencing. And frankly, since you were due to be induced 2 days later, I thought I would get drugs. I was dying.... surely.

I remember getting settled into the bed and being checked for dilation: 5 cm. Perfect! Bring on the epidural! But as we waited a few minutes I told the nurse I needed to poop, could I run to the bathroom?

WHAT? she said. There's no way! So she reached inside and yelled to everyone in the room: Oh my gosh! She's at a 10!! Get the doctor!! FAST!

And then after some hard pushing, realizing you were flipped upside down and twisting you over (oh yeah, that's a special kind of hell right there), out you came. It took 2 hours and 20 minutes from start to finish. You were 10 days early. And you were perfect.

What I want you to know, sweet thing, is life is NOT perfect. In fact, God warns us that life is hard. As you enter these important years of your life I offer you some advise. Some of it is cliche, but it's good advice.

1. Choose your friends wisely. Peer pressure can be positive OR negative.

2. Your family and your home are your safe place. Always.

3. Boys will come and go but your friends will always be there. Don't ignore them over a boy.

4. Stay true to your own personality. Any friend you have to change for is not really your friend.

5. There is nothing you could ever do to make me love you less.

6. Be strong. Be a leader among your peers.

7. You were made for greatness. I will always help you get there!

8. Jesus loves you, this I know. Keep your eyes on Him!

I love you sister. You're my favorite first born child and the best daughter a mama could ask for. I will always love you most.

XOXO,
Mama

getting older

I love blogging. I love writing! And I love sharing my heart with you. I was just reading back through some old posts and thinking how I've neglected my poor blog. And since there's someone out there (not sure who) that reads this, I feel like I've let you down. Namely you, Jessica Williams. But if there happens to be another reader out there, I'm thinking of you, too. :)



I'm turning 40 soon, hence the need to change my blog name a while back. And I have some thoughts on this milestone in life. So I'll share them with you here.

When I turned 30, I was 30 weeks pregnant with my son. I was happy and healthy and livin' the dream. I had a small tea party at a Tea Room for my 8 closest friends. Since I wasn't drinking, ain't nobody gonna be drinkin' for my big birthday, and it was lovely. We ate leisurely, shopped nearby, and went home for naps. It was great.

But now that I'm about to be 40, I'm getting old. No more child-bearing for me; that ended a decade ago now. A few more wrinkles and hands that look aged, now I feel like I've hit the time in my life from which there is no return. In fact, I'm pretty sure this may be the mid-point in my life. Will I live to 80? Or am I not even half way there yet? Only God knows when He'll take me home.

There are many things to be grateful for. I have an adoring husband, two great kids who are confident, funny, and love Jesus. I've been blessed with family that has loved me so much, they have literally prayed me out of the pits in life. They have stood in the gap for me and prayed for my heart when I wasn't praying myself. And for that, I'm forever grateful. My life is not perfect. In fact, I'm as imperfect as they come. I'm a hot mess. But I'm forgiven. And every day I rely on that promise.

So, if nothing else, I'm a bit meloncholy about turning 40. I'm going to do my best to embrace aging. I'm going to continue through my blessed life, raising my kids and my chickens, being thankful for my precious husband, and plug on like it's any other day. Because it is, right?

starstruck

We're Sooner fans around here. Born and bred, all four of my siblings and both my parents attended OU, it's where my husband and I met, and guaranteed, my children will most likely be OU alumns as well. It's in our bones. So I never understood the whole "professional" sports thing. I wondered how in the world they could get a backing of fans? In my mind there was no real reason to LOVE a pro team because there was no initial allegiance, like attending their school. But whatever. I don't think about sports a lot, besides OU football, so my thoughts stopped there.

But one day, Oklahoma City got a professional basketball team. I figured it would be fun to attend. And I knew we'd become fans. But I had no idea how much my son would come to LOVE the Thunder. And my husband! And the yelling in my living room when they play! It's official, we're now Thunder fans as well.

So when we went to Disney World on spring break, of course, we had to go to NBA City near Universal for lunch. It was yummy food (amazingly), but the best part was the store up front. Everything was overpriced. They had a court out front where you could play a timed free throw game and if you scored 13 out of 15 you got a free jersey from that pricey store. 10-12 and you could get a free ball. You get the picture. The less you score, the smaller the "prize" became. If you could score at least 4, you got half price on a photo session where they cropped you into a photo with famous guys from any team you chose.

As lunch wore on, my husband and son were obsessed. They were SURE they could each score AT LEAST 12, getting themselves a basketball. So they went to the counter, paid their $8 to play, and now I'm going to make a long story very short. Scott only hit 4 and so did Gavin. At least they had confidence. They really did believe in themselves. And that's good.

So we took our ticket for half price and went inside to do a photo shoot. They didn't have the special jersey Scott wanted on the photo rack, so he plucked one off the sales rack and threw it on G. This is him, in real life comparison to these two famous Thunder guys: Russell Westbrook and Kevin Durant. They are G's favorites.



So you can imagine our surprise when the next day, as we are minding our own bidness, walkin' through Magic Kingdom, I look up and see a VERY TALL black man in the distance. That's KD, I muse. That's KD!, I say as I nudge my husband. THAT'S KD!, I say loudly for the kids to hear!

WHERE?!, my husband exclaims! Ummm, the very tall black man right in front of you!, I say to myself. And holy crap, just like that, we stumbled upon Kevin Durant in Disney World. He was surrounded by many *short* men and they were just standing there, unnoticed by the swarms of people hustling by. HOW? I don't know. But here we were, looking right at him, when I pulled out my phone and held it up. Scott says, "KD! Hey, we're from Oklahoma! We live in Norman! We're big Thunder fans! Look! Our son is wearing your socks!" Indeed, my son had on a pair of Nike Elite KD socks. Socks that are so pricey, they fed Kevin well at Disney, I'm pretty sure. Because we own them in both colors. For realz.

Anyway, that's when he looks expressionless at Gavin. As he scanned down his body to his feet, a smile appeared on his face. He looked back up at G's face and said, "What's up little man?" as he extended his hand to our son.

I should take a moment to explain to you that until this point, my son only saw a large gathering of black men. He had no idea who we were talking to, and why we were standing there. He, too, was looking down at his socks. And that's when he lifted his head to meet the eyes of Kevin Durant for the first time.

It hit him. He was speechless. SPEECHLESS! OUR SON! Who talks incessantly! It was awesome.

So I say: Hey! Can we get a picture?? *snap* goes the iphone.

No, sorry, he's not taking pictures right now, I'm sure you understand, says the short Disney employee with a smile on his face.

Oh! Of course! No problem, I say, smiling.

Easter Eggs

I can't stop smiling. Really, I have this grin plastered onto my nerdy face right now. And do you want to know why?? Let me show you.


Yesterday afternoon I went out to the coop on a whim. I've been on pins and needles for about 2 weeks now, waiting for my sweet girls to produce. And I figured it's the cold weather that's keeping them from popping one out. I had sort of given up on getting any eggs til it gets warmer. So when I opened the coop and saw the fake egg (there to stimulate production) next to a REAL GREEN ONE, I screamed. Actually, I was on the phone with my friend Michelle, and I yelled in her ear! And then I grabbed the egg, hung up the phone, and ran into the house, screaming for all to hear! Of course, the only one home was Abby, so it was a little anti-climactic. BUT WHO CARES?! WE'VE GOT EGGS PEOPLE!!!

See that other one? It's also green! Or maybe blue, I can't tell and the pictures screw all the color up. But I'm assuming they are both from the same hen! And do you know why? Well, my chickens (Easter Eggers) are a mutt of the chicken world. They were bred from Americaunas and Aracaunas specifically for their shells which will be either green, blue, or pink. You know who's who because whatever color that bird gives you will ALWAYS be the color she gives you. And yesterday I heard some bawking in the yard. A little strange because they are normally soft spoken, I took it for a tiff among the ladies. But this morning, after I was so excited to get that first egg last evening, I went out to let them roam the yard. They all climbed out promptly, but Dot looked around the yard and walked back up into the coop. Alone. And you should know that chickens roam in packs. They stick together. So for Dot to need some "alone time" was unusual. BAWK BAWK! And now we have two eggs!!

Just in time for Easter. And I won't even have to dye my eggs this year. :)

random musings from a busy mom

Hello out there! Have you missed me?! I have been so busy. Just like you. And I've let my blogging slip through my fingers. It's awful.

tbh (I just learned from my 11 year old that means: To be honest), I've been doing so many things I love, I've totally run out of time to write. I go to a bible study on Wednesdays that completely blows my mind and teaches me more about the bible each week than I ever learned growing up in a church. It's hard core and includes daily homework. But oh my word, if you want to study the bible, this class is for you.

And then there's the wedding! My big sister came in town, my little sister got hitched, and then they all left. Sister, sister, and hubby. Yes, he got to go on Haley's honeymoon with them. OK, not really, but he took an all boys trip to Santa Fe to snowboard for 5 days. So my house was quiet. And busy. And quiet.

I've been working on some new ideas for my classes. I've got an Easter Egg class coming up this week and also one after spring break. They both have at least one opening if you're interested, so "hop on over" by clicking the link. We're headed to Disney for spring break, probably the last Disney trip we'll take before the kids are "too old" for that kind of fun. It will be fun and bittersweet. But for now, busy. Because I'm having to pack everyone up and buy tickets, and secure our hotel and flights, and..... the list goes on and on.

And then there's my book club. I cherish those girls and the joy they bring to my life with their friendships. And we had our monthly meeting this week. So last night I was BUSY. (Are you seeing a recurring theme here?)

But don't forget: I AM AN URBAN FARMER. And I've been busy waiting patiently EVERY DAY for those silly hens to lay. Just one of them! I beg of you for the love of all that is good! LAY AN EGG FOR PETE'S SAKE! whew. Sorry for that outburst. Anyway, as I was saying, I've been doing some spring cleaning for the hens. And of course there's the daily upkeep of feeding those little turkeys girls. They are so fun and playful. I love how Eva chases me back to the house underfoot each morning when I let them out to play in the yard. She stops short of the doggie door. I'm hoping they never get smart enough to figure out they CAN fit through that door and into my house. The poo. OH THE POO that would be had. Yes, it's a good thing they are not super smart.

And speaking of chickens, tomorrow I am getting interviewed about our backyard flock! Mama's gonna put on her bra again and rep-re-sent for all the suburban chicken farmers in this town. The fact that anyone cares what I have to say about chickens is frankly, amusing. But get me going and I'll tell you every last thing I've learned. And it's fun knowledge. Not boring stuff like names of bones and such. Not to offend the doctors out there! You need to know the bones! In case I break one! And then I'll be happy to pay you in eggs. If I ever get any.